The Murse

I'm just going to lay this out there. I am originally from Texas--land of big hair, Tony Lama boots, and Wrangler jeans. To me, a guy should be a little rough around the edges; dashing in this devil-may-care, Marlboro man kind of way. But what am I surrounded with in Asia? Prettified versions of pubescent boys with product-saturated hair who sashay in posses of fellow pretties, clutching whatever might be the "it" bag of the moment (in this particular case, Alexander Wang's Spring 2010 "Brady" football clutch, which I had, coincidently, been eyeing for it's super-edgy, super-sexy satirical take on androgynous accessorizing. In retrospect, perhaps too androgynous.)

*Disclaimer: I know that this is not all Asian men, but there is definitely a burgeoning demographic of pretties that deserve to be discussed*

How did this happen? How did the murse evolve and explode onto the Asian scene?

I have a theory, which stems from my college experience with smokers. They never start as smokers. They have one, once, when they're drunk; cough, cough, gasp, gasp . . . "I'll never do that again." But then they're drunk again and they're no longer smoking virgins, so hey, why not have another. And now they don't cough, so hey, maybe have a few cigarettes this time (still bumming the cigarettes off other people). And then it becomes second nature to smoke when they drink, so maybe they should buy a pack while they're drunk so they won't have to bum off people anymore? Great idea, but then that pack they bought when they're drunk is still in their purse and, oh, there are a few cigarettes left and it's such a stressful day. And then before you know it, they're buying the packs when they're sober. And that is how a social smoker becomes a smoker smoker.

Same concept with the murse. A guy gets his stuff together for the day. He's a low key, low maintenance guy so all he needs is his wallet and keys; it all fits in his pockets. But then that guy sees some ad for some great new phone that all the cool guys have. And what do you know, that cool guy phone doesn't fit in his pockets, so now he decides that maybe a messenger bag wouldn't be so awful. Didn't he just see Ashton Kutcher with a messenger bag? So he picks out one that is really practical and masculine--a drab olive maybe, clean lines, no ornamentation. And he likes it, he really likes it. Now he can carry his journal with him and maybe even his favorite book. So, now completely comfortable with his messenger bag, he eyes an "upgrade," with a few spikes on the front and a chrome latch that really captures the punk in him that has been hiding behind all that corporate homogeneity. We'll call that the gateway bag, because now the line between purse and bag is blurred and before you know it, he's toting an Alexander Wang clutch and thoroughly enveloped in the murse world.

Can we fight it? Can the females of Asia take back our previous monopoly on Louis Vuitton satchels and Balenciaga clutches? Sadly, I fear we have already been defeated. So as I stare enviously at the Brady clutch sheltered under Pretty's armpit, I realize that I must surrender graciously. I silently think, "Take the Brady clutch, just leave me my quilted Chanel handbags. Please."